Leave No Monkey Behind

I wrote too quickly!

2010-09-20T20:15:00.001-07:00

Here he is in all his gory...
Perhaps I am the only one who thinks the pun on
"Hope and Change" are funny, but I think it is truly how
the Tea Party Movement feels. Hope and change...
bring us back to the Constitution of the Founding Fathers!
(read: give us back slavery; make said persons only 3/5 of a white land owner; take away women suffrage; put those lazy little children back to work in the factories; re-open the back alley coat hanger clinics; et cetera ad nauseam).
This election is probably the most important I have seen regarding Alaska. Don't let Bristol's spot on "Dancing with the stars" blind you to your civic duty...god damn it!

More Mayhem

2010-09-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

I dusted this off from my files and decided to post it for your reading pleasure.
It's been a while, but I tell you Kanji boy....I can't wait for Madame
Editor to run the next issue so I can show the true nature of Joe Miller.
(Damn it, stop salivating....)

Polar Profiling

2010-06-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, it happens here too.
But what can I say? We must have
evolved from the tribal, blood-thirsty chimps.

Tea Party Icons

2010-04-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

After being inundated with Easter commercialism earlier this month, a bright light shone on my forehead and transmitted this idea to my mental recesses. I should mention that I heard angels singing and telling me to repent and join the Party of No, but thankfully, I resisted and did this cartoon instead. If you have to ask who each person is, send me an email but please, no kanji.

Captain Zero Addresses Alaska

2010-04-21T10:35:00.001-07:00

I thought the statewide address yesterday was hilarious. Had Governor Parnell been the first to bring such a lawsuit, he could possibly be called a pathfinder, ahead of the curve ball, leader of the pack...but no. Mr. Parnell is a tea party panderer and the 13th governor to bring suit against Obama-care. Simply put, he's a lemming and taking us all into the abyss.

Milk'n the Tea Party

2010-04-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

Why is it that milk is becoming so prevalent in Alaska? Why is the Mudflats is so addictive?
Why does the Tea Party hate America?
(Perhaps I got the wrong Wasilla tea bagger...
C'est la vie!)
So many questions....
So little time.

He's simply misunderstood!

2010-04-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

Let's see...
He allegedly choked his wife on the way to a 2nd amendment (or something) convention in Wasilla.
Was released on bail, paid for by the abused spouse (is this typical?).
Comes back to Bearflanks.
Gets a call on the Liberty Bell network he created to spy on city police violating the rights of an upstanding citizen (who happened to have a tad more than the allotted number of marijuana plants growing in her house).
He stands there, taking notes, and pictures and wonders why the police officers came over to ask him a few questions.
And then they find he is well armed (knife, gun, and funky hat).
Being that he was just released on bail, he was promptly hauled in again.
Yep, this feller is just misunderstood.
(someone please tell me if I have this all wrong)

Let the games begin again!

2010-01-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

Alaska never has a dull moment and I look forward to this new year!
Oh and yes little Goodeda 1122 writing in Kanji and filling my comment section with absolute trash...Tammie Wilson is bat shit crazy.

Better late than Never Never Land!

2009-12-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry to be 4 months behind...I just returned from my stint on
"Survivor Bikini Atoll" and the radiation burns left unsightly marks.
It's good to be back though and if the rat bastard troll who wistfully
leaves a ton of kanji on my comments section would kindly stick his or
her fingers somewhere else, I'd be greatly obliged.
Cheers!

Good bye Sarah

2009-08-05T08:25:00.001-07:00

One last, parting shot.
But I am afraid we have not heard the last of
Alaska's dominatrix.

Summertime, and the living is easy....

2009-06-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

Ah summer...
Who wants to update blogs when a person could be outside in the garden or riding a bike on Chena Pump (watch for those beer can throwing hill billies). Here's some updates from my two month absence. Twitterjacked deals with Don Young's Twitter account being jacked from some bunny kissing east coast liberals. I thought it would be fun to add real quotes of his flying back into his face. And the other deals with Sarah's visit to a Memorial Day ceremony. Found the story on Progressive Alaska and subsequently on Shannyn Moore's blog. I took the legitimate complaints and like any cartoonist worth his salt, blew it way out of proportion. Some readers, I hear, are getting tired of my Sarah's being scantily clad "tarts" (for those few people who know me, please insert my diabolical laughter here)

Stimulating Sarah

2009-04-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

I don't get her. I really don't.
First she doesn't want it,
then she wants a part.
Now she wants most of it, maybe all of it.
(note: I'm beginning to believe a friend's mantra he stole from a rap star, "the bitches are crazy.")
Poor delusional soul. Bless her heart.

Green light!

2009-03-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

I am giddy to release this to the public (you two)! The editor wants it out and not to wait for print.
It has been a long time since I've harbored so much rage to stop sketching one idea and throw my evil into something that hit the presses....well, the blog sphere. The "real journalists" won't be picking this story up for a few more days. And they wonder why their jobs are going the way of the dinosaurs. I hate to sound so negative, because right now...blood is in the water and this black tipped reef shark is striking.
By the way, my name is Dan Darrow and I approve this message (sucka).

Two turds with one stone

2009-03-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry for such vulgarity, but now with our new (as of yet approved by the legislature) attorney general, I am afraid this is what the Republican party of Alaska has become. Once a proud history has been reduced to ridicule and well...
shit
(time to sharpen the pencils!)

Happy New Year!

2009-03-01T17:28:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year to you two who religiously read this blog!
So sorry for my delay...let's just say this new year started off with a
bang and I have been running ever since.
Here are my latest for your enjoyment. The first is of course of my favorite
super hero, Super Fly.
The other, of my favorite mythical creature, Sarah Palin!
(Please forward all complaints and death threats to my editor at the Republic.
Thank you)

Our most useful Congressman

2008-12-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. Of course I'm burned out with Sarah Palin and Russians across the way, and politics in general, but Don Young and the quote from Illinois Governor, Begoja-whatever couldn't be passed up easily.
What will next month bring? Will work something on Begich, our newest senator. Gotta welcome him into the fold.

An American Family

2008-09-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

Sarah-fest in the Ester Republic this month!
Yes, we all just love her up here in the Great White
North (figuratively and literally). And "all Alaskans" want to drill the
hell out of that frozen
wasteland to garner a few more years of oil.
Drill baby drill drill baby drill....
(excuse me while I vomit)
My wife told me that I cannot publish "those" in a paper, and I agreed
with her, but retorted "The editor can."

Milking Sarah

2008-09-03T17:35:00.001-07:00

That doesn't sound quite right...

The much anticipated speech is coming up. Will it be the grand slam all the AM radio talking heads are predicting, a flop, or will it leave us saying, "WTF?" Oh, the drama.
Here is a cartoon from 2006 when Palin beat the pants off of Frank Murkowski (I still chuckle when I think about that).

You could easily replace "Alaska" with "America" on this one.
I shall remain hopefully optimistic for her success. (I can't wish bad things on anyone especially while being viewed by millions of people on tv) As you can tell by my depictions of Sarah, I simply pick on her sexuality rather than her policies...although that was beginning to change during Trooper-gate.
Needless to say, my head has been spinning for the last few days.

Uncle Ted...Jail bait

2008-09-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

I almost feel sorry for Uncle Ted, but now with Sarah in the spotlight...perhaps he can breathe a sigh of relief for a short spell.
For all you Trolls out there...Most of the Sarah Palin Cartoons are in "older posts" Enjoy!
(This just in....Sarah's 17 year old, unmarried daughter is having a baby in December. Now we're bringing Wasilla to Washington! Hot damn.)

Ted Attacks!

2008-08-13T17:57:00.000-07:00

I am beyond my schedule. All you two readers out there...
So sorry. New one will be coming up by the end of the week.
Saludos!

Diary of a Mad Congressman

2008-05-22T10:01:00.001-07:00

Don Young is certifiably insane. I am serious here, please don't laugh at me.
This cartoon was drawn immediately after hearing his testimony on some sort of commission dealing with the energy crisis. Don proposed an increase in the gas tax (to make it up to a dollar federal tax on each gallon of gas...he later retracted this statement click here). My jaw dropped and said, "he's insane!"
I also apologize for the lack of color in this one. I was trying for the interrogation under white light look a la Gitmo...but it just doesn't sit right with me. That is I should have colored it.

Knocked-Up & Out

2008-04-23T20:54:00.000-07:00

I think the news of Sarah Palin's pregnancy hit the daily rags about 3 weeks ago. Miraculously, she gave birth to her fifth child just the other day. How in the hell is that possible? Fluoridation? Arctic Haze? Haliburton?
The other odd thing about this is that she was in Texas for some reason or other when labor pains started and hopped on the next Alaska Airlines flight home. I thought the policy of most airlines was not to let pregnant women about to burst board a long flight or any flight at all for liability reasons...someone tell me the facts here! And what is wrong with a Texas born baby? Strike that....
I can empathize with her now.

Cartoonist Gone Wild

2008-03-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

Since the blogsphere is a free speech zone and bloggers could write whatever the hell we want and be somewhat free of libelous suits, I have decided to give you, good reader(s), the unedited, Spring Break version of my twisted mind and the first draft of this month's cartoon. Of course it would never see the light of day in printed media, but Jesus H. Christ I chuckle when I think of Tom Delong saying, "Mutha Fucka"to the pigs at GVEA. Here...laugh with me:
Ticolandia Update
I have been frequently asked what "Ticolandia" means. Most people get it somewhat right in that it has to do with Ticos and Land, but the word is a play on what the Costa Ricans call Escazú (a suburb of San José). Since Escazú is full of American ex-pats or Gringos, the Costa Ricans call Escazú GRINGOLANDIA.
And for all you parents out there with children on your laps reading this free speech blog, sorry for all the foul words. I'm just in that mood lately. Call it Springtime in Alaska.

The Big, Bad Wolves

2007-12-26T14:40:00.001-08:00

"My Grandma, what shiny white teeth you have!"

This was a fun cartoon to do and got much help and advice on what to add. I wish I could have implemented it all, but alas...only have so much time and space. I do owe credit to Dave James, even though he is grumpy as all hell, does have a great sense of humor (his idea was to throw in the typical, chivalrous Fairbanks Taxi). To everyone else with great insights, thank you and perhaps I'll steal your idea next time.
In January I will not be submitting a cartoon to the esteemed editor of the Republic as my family will be on vacation in Costa Rica. (Yes, you can all call me a rat bastard now).
I will be taking many pictures, compiling notes from my travel journal, and drawing numerous sketches over a few dozen Imperiales. I will do my best to write some sort of article just for the Ester Republic.

Hasta pronto.
D

Freedom from 'Family Values' Neocons

2007-11-17T19:46:00.000-08:00

I think I have a little explaining to do...
This cartoon is a rendition of Norman Rockwell's "Freedom from Want" painting depicting a happy, white Thanksgiving scene. I happily replaced many of the faces with our very own Republicans. Starting on the left (of course!) is my rendition of Jay Ramras, the patriarch is any old oil executive, then there's Princess Lisa serving the turkey, email me for who the dough boy is, the troll is Don Young, and then there's angry old Uncle Ted.
The Kool-aid seems to be ubiquitous in toeing the party line at all costs which seems to be the norm in this state, no matter how much it stinks.
The Charlie Rex anti-dumpster diving initiative would have been fun to draw up, but hell, I was on a deadline and accidentally bumped into the editor/publisher at Lu Lu's who promptly asked me, "where in the hell is my cartoon, you rat bastard?" Maybe not so harsh, but I was working under pressure. Perhaps Charlie will step on his Twinkie again soon so I can belittle him.

Countess Palin

2007-10-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

I started off by making her a "boogey-woman" for Halloween. The intent was to scare oil executives. But as I was sketching her, the thought permeated my creative process "she would make a great vampiress...oooohh the Queen of the Damned."
This is the end result. Notice, her outfit isn't as sexy as normal governor's clothing (did anyone see last week's DNM? She was decked out in all leather just like Trinity from the Matrix). I chose the fundamentalist white Christian look.

Road Kill

2007-09-25T14:54:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year! Go get your 30-06 and blast the hell out of those signs!
(nota bene: normal people would know that I am not advocating the wanton destruction of state property)

Greedy-Assed Chumps Going Down

2007-08-17T06:02:00.001-07:00

We can only hope.
Every day there seems to be a new story about our representatives in Washington, the FBI, investigations, corruption. Are Alaska's Trifecta really that stupid? I know I have always drawn them as such, but deep in the recesses of my twisted mind, I couldn't believe they are that stupid and greedy.
This cartoon was drawn and submitted prior to a story that broke in the Anchorage Daily News with the headline, "Stevens: My money, not VECO's" Ask the editor for proof.
ADN article

Cartoon Report

2007-07-29T12:34:00.001-07:00

A fun project and very close to what actually happened...well, some of it grossly exaggerated. I did, however, have the feeling that the USPS had an agenda and were just simply going through the motions of a public forum before putting the Lake Minchumina Post Office on the chopping block. This action will be felt throughout rural Alaska quite soon in that Minchumina doesn't house the smallest PO.
Bastards.

VECO

2007-06-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

A cartoon done for the editorial cartooning class. Much fun to explain myself to people and hold myself accountable to my demented process. I hope the corrupted get what's coming to them soon.

Bicycles and rednecks

2007-05-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

A true event...
The words have been altered for publication, but the gist remains the same.
I do have to say that only three idiots have yelled such obscenities to me while riding and the majority of people in this town are decent and bike-friendly.
Did I mention that you should go check out Cartoon North? (how's that for a shameless plug?)

Cartoon North

2007-05-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

This doofus will be participating in the Cartoon North Show, Fairbanks, Alaska June 1-30. Information for this groovy experience could be found here:
http://www.esterrepublic.com/cartoonnorth.html
(Logo from Jamie Smith's promo package)

Ralph Seekins-Superstar

2007-04-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ralph is no longer in the political spotlight, but his support is worthy of my ridicule. Anyhow, I'm sure he'll try to be back in Juneau during the next election cycle.

Leave no Wacko behind

2007-04-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

Mana from Heaven

2007-02-27T16:19:00.000-08:00

I absolutely hate cartoon caption contests...But thought I'd do this one to poke fun of those who love them. Am I really a sick puppy? Here's the un-edited version. :D
***********************************

Have you ever wondered what cartoonists do when they are stymied or bored or getting lazy and are still under a deadline? They hold a:

CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST!

Background of this cartoon:

Jim Hayes, former mayor of the City of Fairbanks and currently a University of Alaska Regent, is under federal indictment (and has pleaded not guilty) to “money laundering, theft, and conspiracy” (http://newsminer.com/2007/02/10/5117/). Many, including Mike Kelly and Governor Palin, have asked him to resign. Mr. Hayes has flat-out refused to step down from the Board of Regents and intends to serve until the completion of his term in 2011. The governor is hamstrung in that she cannot legally remove Jim Hayes from the Board.

Rules:

No profanity will ever be tolerated in the Ester Republic (shit, fuck, bitch, ass, and NeoCon are OK to use).
Make a caption for one or both or neither cartoon. Be sure to use proper English, and make no grammatical mistakes or the editor will post them in the Ester Post Office and the Golden Eagle for all to laugh at.
If you are stuck on making such a caption, don’t enter this contest or ask me or the Godfather (Jamie Smith) for advice…we are stymied, bored, and getting lazy.
Try to be funny. Nobody wants to see a serious cartoon that hits below the belt anymore.
Keep it short. Nobody likes to read anymore. Sound bites. Who has really ever read War and Peace anyhow?
You may submit up to 5 entries (you get 5 tries) to our addresses:

simiolusrex@gmail.com or editor@esterrepublic.com

Grand Prize:

The prize for this contest will be a t-shirt, of the artist’s choice (the artist being Dan Darrow…you would merely be a ghost writer), from Value Village. Note to Mr. James: My wife already got rid of the “MasterPimp” shirt. Hopefully it found its way back to Value Village.

Old School

2007-01-27T19:16:00.000-08:00

Mike Kelly is the best thing to happen to a cartoonist since Frank Murkowski left office.

Enjoy the Rapture

2007-01-11T20:11:00.000-08:00

An old, collaborative (with a locally infamous satirist) cartoon, dug up and published here to make fun of the little zealot comic books distributed in the Daily News-Miner, Wolf Run, Home Depot, and other establishments. Feel free to copy and paste these cartoons and print them out to distribute on the corner of Airport and University. Be sure to yell at passing motorists that they are going to burn in hell first. Oh, and feel free to pass them out in North Pole and at the Bible Baptist. Are you a fast runner?

No Millionaire left behind

2006-12-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

A cruise on the QE 2 and a no show at the new governor's inauguration. To quote Bill Cosby (Cosby Kids), Frank Murkowski is "like school in the summertime....no class."

Bend Over

2006-11-18T12:39:00.000-08:00

A friend told me that Sarah's Dominatrix motif is getting old. I must agree and will begin the process of giving her alternative attire.
Suggestions for such an endeavor would be greatly appreciated. So far, the first suggestion by my friend the grumpy old guy is appealing. (the nasty Catholic School Girl look)

Tony-Man

2006-10-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

Am I promoting too much sexuality in the local cartoon world? It is the underlying factor in this gubernatorial election that no one wants to talk about. Who's hotter? Sarah or Tony?

The Dominatrix

2006-09-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

If she wins, I'll make her a character in my cartoon strip. How I love Google searches!

The Good Old Days

2006-09-01T19:37:00.000-07:00

Ah, the good ol' days. Remember when Borough Assembly meetings were fun? Liberals were equated with the Klan, FBKS towns-people were the "angry mob" wanting to hang someone, secret meetings, drunk driving assemblymen....
Bonnie Williams is trying to come back to the flock. It brings back such fond memories for a cartoonist.

Election primaries sketches...rejects?

2006-08-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I assume these would be rejects. But decided to post them anyhow. Murkowski is such a loser and last night's elections proved it thoroughly. Now to focus my evil on Tony Knowles and Sarah Palin...

Let the mud fly!

2006-08-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Ah, the sweet smells of Autumn and Primary Season in Alaska! Apparently the Murkowski and Binkley campaigns have begun their evil of flinging mud between eachother and Sarah Palin. And Knowles is holding back or rather, saving his money for the general elections. Probably a smart move. I am focusing my evil on getting my man, Frank, re-elected. He is the best thing that has ever happened to this state (especially for cartoonists, satirists, humorists, and alternative editor types). Go Frank Go!